Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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