i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
