I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
