The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
