no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
So gin and wine won't be happening again
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
