hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
