Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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