You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I am midnight drunk by noon
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
