I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
so much tequila, so little girl.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
