Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
