if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
