and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
