hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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