my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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