u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
