listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize