I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
