I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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