the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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