We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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