the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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