That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
