Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
