you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
