there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
