She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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