I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize