You're a womanizer and a bitch.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
