dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
worst night to have a conscience
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
he had hair everywhere except his balls
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
