If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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