My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
They took my balls.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Omg I joined a choir last night...
There's even glitter on my cock...
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