I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
