I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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