so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
