wanna go halves on a baby?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
