Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
