Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
My life is pants optional.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
