I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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