I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
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