Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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