I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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