I just saw a hot homeless man
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
