The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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