so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize