i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
