Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
