i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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