I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
