im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We have started to decorate penises.
So much rum. So many feels.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I am one with the molecules
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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