i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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