Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize