I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
