you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
