im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
