Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I could fuck to npr.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
