well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
