I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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