Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Did I show you my penis last night?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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