some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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