shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
you would pick up someone in the library
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize