i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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