Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You had me at "let me see your balls"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
