My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Did I show you my penis last night?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
